I has musics

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Empty Body Bags, Loaded .45s

guess the band that inspired it, you get a cookie.


You've spun this chamber dry
and what else do you have to say?
We're both out of our excuses
and the price of bullets is just outrageous

you say there's something in your eye
it's probably just a hair or lie
it's watering down, watering down,
when your perfect is just as fleeting
as the smell of gunpowder on your shirt

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope you feel like me someday

for tonight we'll lie low
and we're so so good at it too
we'll break hearts and watch them leak
we'll blow them to the sky

and you say there's something in your eye
it's just a hair or the light from your blinds
it's whitewashing out, whitewashing out
and you're perfect but we're fleeting
like the stains of red on your shirt

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope you feel like me someday

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope I feel like you someday
pull the trigger
there's not enough pain here today
pull the trigger
we'll make some more, we'll make them pay

if that's all you wanted, you should have said something
if that's what you wanted, you should have mentioned it in the first place
here's your cartridges
here's your bullets,
it's all you had to say

Monday, May 19, 2008

just now, i got so mad that I literally stopped being mad. like, i hit a thresh hold of anger and broke it. Like how when a jet breaks the sound barrier and you can't actually hear it when you're near it? It's kinda like that. Except I'm the jet, and I broke the anger barrier. So you can't hear it right now, but I hope to God you hear it soon.


I think a better analogy would be the simpson's episode where homer bottles in his anger and they turn into lumps on the back of his neck and he eventually loses it and goes crazy.



Light that smoke, yeah, one for giving up on me.
And one because they'll kill you sooner than my expectations.

The nerve of some people.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

this just came out earlier

excuse me if i'm bleeding
i'm seeing how it feels to be dying
its not in the sense
that i'm depressed
its just something i've thought worth trying

Monday, April 28, 2008

"A thousand clever lines..."

If you're in love, write on cheap paper
(I'm tired of writing my songs)
Because the notes and letters will be numerous
(on paper towels and napkins)
and it's illegal to scratch glass anymore
(legitimate lines meet ridiculing eyes)
so tell your better half you love them here
(just because your best ideas come in coffee shops)
and twylight skylines

Write what you're thinking right now
bottle it up and leave it for a year
if it's legible, it's the truth
make a list of your favorites
make it legible
it's digging your own grave
and even if it's shallow,
you'll lie in it

if you're lamenting, write on cheap paper
(I'm tired of writing my songs)
Because the tears will be numerous
(on paper towels and napkins)
but they're not worth the price you paid anymore
(legitimate lines meet ridiculing eyes)
so tell your better half you're better off here
(just because your best ideas come in coffee shops)
and twylight skylines

Make a list of your favorites,
(and here we go) make it legible
Remember what you wrote a year ago
and just because it's shallow doesn't mean it's not truth

write down your thoughts right now
on napkins from your kitchen table
leave it out in the rain
and the sun and the sand
and if it's legible, it's the truth
So make a list of your ex's
make it legible
it's like digging a grave
and though it's shallow,
throw them in it

make a list of your favorites
make it legible
remember what you wrote a year ago?

Saturday, April 19, 2008

A beautiful death (thanks justin)

You looked at me and said, "I don't love you anymore,"
it was soon after that that my jaw hit the floor
instead of calling curses down, I drank what you still offered
except that it left me parched, though, like a muse without an author

"I opened like a locket, 'If you're ever cold,' I wrote,
'There's warmth inside of me, I'm the pocket of an old winter coat.'
But where she used to say 'I need you,' now, 'I don't.'"

"Life, it takes some growing up," she said,
and I, half serious at best, could only but digress
"It's all I've got to do..." and I spit the poison from my lips
and acted surprised at the sun's reflection off of you

We were but children dressing in our parent's clothes
playing house, but we didn't know the rules!
We made them up as we went
but the shine wore off the play jewels
and left us sitting in our rooms,
dressed as and speaking with ghouls!

"Let me be lowered down like a casket
and buried just below her chest
'Whatever I was searching for, it was never you,' she says,
The record ended long ago, but we kept on dancing nonetheless"

We'll put music to our troubles and dance them all away
We'll put music to our troubles and soon, we'll be dancing the night away
We'll put music to our troubles and dance them all away

Kiss me once in the snow, I swear it never gets old

Hey baby, I have something I’d like to say to you

And I know that you know what I’m going to ask

And I know that you’ve been busy and stressed

And I know this is probably the last thing on your mind today

But I need to get it off my chest


But I’d like to tell you that I love you.

I’d like you to know how I really feel about this

And I wish you knew how you keep me up at night

And how I think about the few times I ever held you tight

Or the time we tried to watch your favorite movie

And you passed out in my arms

And I’m pretty sure you dreamt of oz, but I was thinking about you


And if you show me someone else, I can read them like a book

Cracked open at the spine for everyone to see

But when you’re shown to me, you’re the biggest mystery

I’ve ever seen before or since, with head hung low I shook

I’m hoping I was on your mind when you talked about companionship

And I’m hoping that you’re hoping I’ll be there when you jump ship


When you come home from a stressful day, I want to hold you just to say

It’ll be alright in the same way you’ve held me

So maybe you’ve been asking me and I just can’t see

And I’m just not picking up what you’re laying down

And I know you won’t ask, so drop your veil and show me

I’m asking you to realize that I’m yours


But I’d like to tell you that I love you.

I’d like you to know how I really feel about this

And I wish you knew how you keep me up at night

And how I think about the few times I ever held you tight

Or the time we tried to watch your favorite movie

And you passed out in my arms

And I’m pretty sure you dreamt of oz, but I was thinking about you


But I need to know how you feel about me

Because a couple thousand miles is a bit far for heartbreak

But you know I’ll be there in a second if you want me

So let’s make something last, something meaningful, not fast


And I sit here waiting for your reply

I’m second guessing my intentions

The same effect you’ve always had on me

I can fake it with the best of them,

but you’re the very best of all

And I’m sure you see right through me

I’m sure you’ve seen it all

But I’m hoping you’ll take a chance on me

And we won’t take a fall

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

"They're Just Chemical Burns"

She cares enough to mention

And get worked up about it

Her cheeks are red

And it’s not just from the meds

But she can’t do anything about it


And who says I deserve better?

Who says I deserve anything?

I’ve got issues that go way back

Insecurities and wanting you back

Did I mention my head hurts?

So crack some jokes about awkward sex

“it didn’t come up” haha that’s a good one


And now we’re in your house

And of course, it’s not awkward at all

I’ll make small talk and pretend

I’m not wishing you’d invite me to bed

And pretend I’m not wishing

For more of your kisses

And as we’re leaving your room

And as we’re leaving

We’re attached at the mouth again

It’s these little things you do that don’t last two seconds but speak sentences

It’s these little things that get into my head…

And God I’m such a sucker

I’m such a sucker for your pretty face and willing kiss


She cares enough to say something

And pretend I deserve so much better

But she doesn’t do anything about it

And how do I tell her I want her to do something about it?


But baby come on,

This isn’t primetime t.v.

So let’s think realistically

She won’t take me back

She can’t take me back

Even though she’s got her cheeks all red

And it’s definitely not from the meds

So why should I deserve anything at all anyway?


never

Ever ever ever

Never again

This time I mean it

I’ll show you how much you mean

Never again

Ever ever ever

Never again will I mean it

I’ll never show you how much you mean


But I’m trying to hide my excitement

Because kissed her and my hand brushed her hips

But I can’t contain it

But your little kisses don’t mean anything

They’re brushes on the lips of “just friends”

But these big things get in my head

And make me write songs like this


(“It’s the little things that bring me down”

You told me that once and now

I know what you meant, I know…)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Like A Duck In The City

Like a duck in a city

"if you only knew
all the reasons i have for leaving
and if you only knew
what i'll be doing there in the evenings"

you just stay safe in your little world
and I'll never bother you again
why should I, since you dropped me
and attacked with a grin?

would you have still kept it all inside?
would you have still said the things that drained away all my pride?
the things that eat at me every day with a pain and a choking regret? and i lay in squares and shambles in bed.
So say again what you had to say that took my life

if you only knew
all the reasons I have for leaving
and if you only knew
why today's the day i'm gone for good

and I'll be fine in my new world
but you can bother me anytime
it'll kill you to see the grin on my face
since you dropped me and realized your you’ve lost your grace

would you have still kept it all inside?
would you have still said the things that drained away all my pride?
the things that eat at me every day with a pain and a choking regret? and i lay in squares and shambles in bed.
so say it again, what you had to say that took my life

It's not like I'll be missed around here
When things like minimum wages and whispers of fear
are all that I've surrounded myself with a cheer
for all the times you kept me up at night
and all the things we said in your bed
and all the times we left in a fight
and all the reasons you had to say what you said that night
maybe you'll know in time...
what you said that changed my life

Your Eyes, Seamless And Sure

Here's something I wrote today. Title is from a Thrice song. I think this is the next thing I'm going to record. I like it a lot.


oh how i miss the brilliance she brought
to my empty colorless field
and it's amazing how much i miss
the way her hair fell on her face
and everything now is black and white
because she left and took all the color from the place

now my eyes can’t see the bright

and they’ve lost all their drive

because of the void that your leaving left in my heart

and the refractions from your eyes

though completely divine,

are much too far away to lend the shine they used to give



how I wish you’d be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give
and to feel your skin and your breath against my neck
you've taken all of mine so you should share yours
it's hard to breath when you're alone (I know)
you're a lifeline in this life of mine
so why'd we end up alone?
I guess we were running out of time
and we never it saw it coming home

I wish I knew what would have happened and what life had for us in store

Oh, a lover’s lost lament, one so obviously uttered and yet so difficult to cure


It’s like the light you give off is being pulled away from my eyes

And they’re not able to flip you right side up in time

You get into my brain, upside down and colored wrong and in this state you run amuck

Until we speak again, and then you’re right side up inside my head again

I love how you set me straight, even with the distance I still feel you like a blade

The light from your eyes is always more than enough

to light up these dimly lit hallways where I lay

So won’t you come again? Maybe in the Spring I’ll see you and you can color in my world

It’s not that I hang on every word, I hang myself on what you do to me

It’s not that I keep hanging on, although you may think that’s the case

I’m just never letting go, even throughout our little chase

Until the light from your eyes brings color to the black and white once more


how I wish you’d be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give
to feel your skin and your breath against my neck
you've taken mine so you should share yours
it's hard to breath when you're alone (I know)
you're a lifeline in this life of mine
so why'd we end up alone?
I guess we were running out of time
and we never it saw it coming home

I wish I knew what would have happened and what life had for us in store

Oh, a lover’s lost lament, one so obviously uttered and yet so difficult to cure


The colors from your eyes

Utterly divine

I guess we were just running out of time

You’re pulling light out of my eyes

Utterly divine

This fluorescent world’s got nothing on your big brown eyes

Utterly divine

Won’t you color in my world again?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

If I'm Just Bad News... You Had Me Right All Along

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a dance number...


This is an introspective look
I write songs about things that never happened and tragedies I shouldn’t
I’m a great liar and I’ll keep it up as long as you keep your ears pressed to the stereo
Keep them close now, if you listen hard enough you’ll hear my heart break with every word
Keep them close now, if you look hard enough you’ll find a piece of my heart in your radio
But don’t worry, sweety, I already know.
And I don’t need whatever you’ve found
So you can keep all that I’ve lost now


It’s all a façade
(I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)
Something I do when I’m not feeling myself
And you just dance and nod
(I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)
Keep the rhythm with your aching feet
Throw your hearts up on the shelf and listen


I write songs about things that never happened
And if you ask it’s not cause I want the attention
But why would you ask?
You just come to hear the melodies
And oh am I mistaken?
Then how come you’re smiling like happy little trees?


This is all a façade
(I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)
Something I’m good at when I’m not me
So you just smile to yourself and know that I’m not
(I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)
Keep the rhythm with your aching feet
Throw out your inhibitions and sing


I may not be the best but I’m damn good at what I do
And if there’s any questions just meet me in the back room


And here’s one for you to sing when no one’s around
And dance to when you get lost in the sound of my voice
And hear me out (I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)


And here’s one for you to sing along to when you’re alone and you’re scarred
And dance to when you get lost in the sound and the noise
So just hear me out (I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)


This arrogance is feigned at best
And if you didn’t catch that then just keep singing
This arrogance is completely fake at best
And if you caught that then you’re ahead of the rest of the class
This arrogance is the truth at best
And if you caught that this time around then just keep singing
This conceitedness is completely true, it’s the best
And if you didn’t catch that, then just keep dancing


And here’s one for you to sing when no one’s around
And dance to when you get lost in the sound of my voice
And hear me out (I’m not ashamed but I’m trying)


I may not be the best but I’m damn good at what I do
And if there’s any questions just meet me in the back room