Breakdown At The Speed Of Sound

She’s watching t.v.
And she’s speeding up her breathing
She’s living in the moment
And she’s not letting anything bring her down
She’s focused on being unfocused
And she’s certain that she doesn’t know
But she’s speeding up her breathing
And getting ready for impact

And this is where she hits the breakdown
This is the only thing she knows
This is the way she sounds when going under
And this is only minutes away from the ground

Now she’s humming along with the stereo
And she’s speeding up her heartbeat
Thinking about anyone here now
Hoping the words mean more to anyone else at all
But now she’s focused
Her point is oh so precise
And she’s speeding up her heartbeat
Because it’s better than letting it lie

And this where she hits her breakdown
This is the only thing she knows
This is the way she sounds when she’s going under
And now she’s seconds away from the ground

How long before she crumbles?
It’s only a matter of time
How long before she plunges into the ocean?
It’s only a matter of time
She’s falling faster than anyone could help
And she’s sinking faster than she could tell

Now she’s turning up the stereo
But she’s watching with the tv on mute
So no one can hear her heartbeat race
And no one can hear her breathing increase
And no one can hear her cries in the night
That disappear in the light
She’s heading towards the ground
And she hits it every night
But whenever the sun creeps in through her windows
She’s a bit higher in the air than she thinks
And she knows there’s someone who’s going to catch her
When she can wake herself up

It's always windy in Barstow

i don't know what you're thinking
and i'm not sure i want to
but whatever it is, i'm thinking it too
and i never wanted to let you go at all

you left me blind on the curbside
and i cried all my way home
that park will never look the same
and neither will the insides of your eyes

cause
when you leave
it's like there's a gaping hole
inside of me
and i don't know how to make it
go away
and i guess you can't just
let me be

so you call me up
tell me that you miss me and
oh what am I supposed to say?
Well we won't admit it but we know where this is headed


cause
when you leave
it's like there's a gaping hole
inside of me
and i don't know how to make it
go away
and i guess you can't just
let me be

"what are we doing?"
"I don't know... I don't really want to know, you know?"
"This is is confusing..."
"I know, but it's kinda fun that way, you know?
"What are you thinking?"
"Nothing you don't already know..."


cause
when you leave
it's like there's a gaping hole
inside of me
and i don't know how to make it
go away
and i guess you can't just
let me be

"I've gotta go..."
"But I don't want you to."
"I've gotta be somewhere..."
"You've gotta be right here, right here.."
"But I, I, I, I need to leave..."
"...right here, right here, right here."
"I think, think, think, I need to, need to....
"Stay right here?"
"Stay right here."

Cause when you leave,
there's a gaping hole inside of me
and i can't make it go away

Empty Body Bags, Loaded .45s

guess the band that inspired it, you get a cookie.


You've spun this chamber dry
and what else do you have to say?
We're both out of our excuses
and the price of bullets is just outrageous

you say there's something in your eye
it's probably just a hair or lie
it's watering down, watering down,
when your perfect is just as fleeting
as the smell of gunpowder on your shirt

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope you feel like me someday

for tonight we'll lie low
and we're so so good at it too
we'll break hearts and watch them leak
we'll blow them to the sky

and you say there's something in your eye
it's just a hair or the light from your blinds
it's whitewashing out, whitewashing out
and you're perfect but we're fleeting
like the stains of red on your shirt

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope you feel like me someday

pull the trigger
alright, give up, alright, we're done
pull the trigger
i hope I feel like you someday
pull the trigger
there's not enough pain here today
pull the trigger
we'll make some more, we'll make them pay

if that's all you wanted, you should have said something
if that's what you wanted, you should have mentioned it in the first place
here's your cartridges
here's your bullets,
it's all you had to say

just now, i got so mad that I literally stopped being mad. like, i hit a thresh hold of anger and broke it. Like how when a jet breaks the sound barrier and you can't actually hear it when you're near it? It's kinda like that. Except I'm the jet, and I broke the anger barrier. So you can't hear it right now, but I hope to God you hear it soon.


I think a better analogy would be the simpson's episode where homer bottles in his anger and they turn into lumps on the back of his neck and he eventually loses it and goes crazy.

Light that smoke, yeah, one for giving up on me.
And one because they'll kill you sooner than my expectations.

The nerve of some people.

this just came out earlier

excuse me if i'm bleeding
i'm seeing how it feels to be dying
its not in the sense
that i'm depressed
its just something i've thought worth trying

"A thousand clever lines..."

If you're in love, write on cheap paper
(I'm tired of writing my songs)
Because the notes and letters will be numerous
(on paper towels and napkins)
and it's illegal to scratch glass anymore
(legitimate lines meet ridiculing eyes)
so tell your better half you love them here
(just because your best ideas come in coffee shops)
and twylight skylines

Write what you're thinking right now
bottle it up and leave it for a year
if it's legible, it's the truth
make a list of your favorites
make it legible
it's digging your own grave
and even if it's shallow,
you'll lie in it

if you're lamenting, write on cheap paper
(I'm tired of writing my songs)
Because the tears will be numerous
(on paper towels and napkins)
but they're not worth the price you paid anymore
(legitimate lines meet ridiculing eyes)
so tell your better half you're better off here
(just because your best ideas come in coffee shops)
and twylight skylines

Make a list of your favorites,
(and here we go) make it legible
Remember what you wrote a year ago
and just because it's shallow doesn't mean it's not truth

write down your thoughts right now
on napkins from your kitchen table
leave it out in the rain
and the sun and the sand
and if it's legible, it's the truth
So make a list of your ex's
make it legible
it's like digging a grave
and though it's shallow,
throw them in it

make a list of your favorites
make it legible
remember what you wrote a year ago?

A beautiful death (thanks justin)

You looked at me and said, "I don't love you anymore,"
it was soon after that that my jaw hit the floor
instead of calling curses down, I drank what you still offered
except that it left me parched, though, like a muse without an author

"I opened like a locket, 'If you're ever cold,' I wrote,
'There's warmth inside of me, I'm the pocket of an old winter coat.'
But where she used to say 'I need you,' now, 'I don't.'"

"Life, it takes some growing up," she said,
and I, half serious at best, could only but digress
"It's all I've got to do..." and I spit the poison from my lips
and acted surprised at the sun's reflection off of you

We were but children dressing in our parent's clothes
playing house, but we didn't know the rules!
We made them up as we went
but the shine wore off the play jewels
and left us sitting in our rooms,
dressed as and speaking with ghouls!

"Let me be lowered down like a casket
and buried just below her chest
'Whatever I was searching for, it was never you,' she says,
The record ended long ago, but we kept on dancing nonetheless"

We'll put music to our troubles and dance them all away
We'll put music to our troubles and soon, we'll be dancing the night away
We'll put music to our troubles and dance them all away

Kiss me once in the snow, I swear it never gets old

Hey baby, I have something I’d like to say to you

And I know that you know what I’m going to ask

And I know that you’ve been busy and stressed

And I know this is probably the last thing on your mind today

But I need to get it off my chest

But I’d like to tell you that I love you.

I’d like you to know how I really feel about this

And I wish you knew how you keep me up at night

And how I think about the few times I ever held you tight

Or the time we tried to watch your favorite movie

And you passed out in my arms

And I’m pretty sure you dreamt of oz, but I was thinking about you

And if you show me someone else, I can read them like a book

Cracked open at the spine for everyone to see

But when you’re shown to me, you’re the biggest mystery

I’ve ever seen before or since, with head hung low I shook

I’m hoping I was on your mind when you talked about companionship

And I’m hoping that you’re hoping I’ll be there when you jump ship

When you come home from a stressful day, I want to hold you just to say

It’ll be alright in the same way you’ve held me

So maybe you’ve been asking me and I just can’t see

And I’m just not picking up what you’re laying down

And I know you won’t ask, so drop your veil and show me

I’m asking you to realize that I’m yours

But I’d like to tell you that I love you.

I’d like you to know how I really feel about this

And I wish you knew how you keep me up at night

And how I think about the few times I ever held you tight

Or the time we tried to watch your favorite movie

And you passed out in my arms

And I’m pretty sure you dreamt of oz, but I was thinking about you

But I need to know how you feel about me

Because a couple thousand miles is a bit far for heartbreak

But you know I’ll be there in a second if you want me

So let’s make something last, something meaningful, not fast

And I sit here waiting for your reply

I’m second guessing my intentions

The same effect you’ve always had on me

I can fake it with the best of them,

but you’re the very best of all

And I’m sure you see right through me

I’m sure you’ve seen it all

But I’m hoping you’ll take a chance on me

And we won’t take a fall

"They're Just Chemical Burns"

She cares enough to mention

And get worked up about it

Her cheeks are red

And it’s not just from the meds

But she can’t do anything about it

And who says I deserve better?

Who says I deserve anything?

I’ve got issues that go way back

Insecurities and wanting you back

Did I mention my head hurts?

So crack some jokes about awkward sex

“it didn’t come up” haha that’s a good one

And now we’re in your house

And of course, it’s not awkward at all

I’ll make small talk and pretend

I’m not wishing you’d invite me to bed

And pretend I’m not wishing

For more of your kisses

And as we’re leaving your room

And as we’re leaving

We’re attached at the mouth again

It’s these little things you do that don’t last two seconds but speak sentences

It’s these little things that get into my head…

And God I’m such a sucker

I’m such a sucker for your pretty face and willing kiss

She cares enough to say something

And pretend I deserve so much better

But she doesn’t do anything about it

And how do I tell her I want her to do something about it?

But baby come on,

This isn’t primetime t.v.

So let’s think realistically

She won’t take me back

She can’t take me back

Even though she’s got her cheeks all red

And it’s definitely not from the meds

So why should I deserve anything at all anyway?

never

Ever ever ever

Never again

This time I mean it

I’ll show you how much you mean

Never again

Ever ever ever

Never again will I mean it

I’ll never show you how much you mean

But I’m trying to hide my excitement

Because kissed her and my hand brushed her hips

But I can’t contain it

But your little kisses don’t mean anything

They’re brushes on the lips of “just friends”

But these big things get in my head

And make me write songs like this

(“It’s the little things that bring me down”

You told me that once and now

I know what you meant, I know…)

Like A Duck In The City

Like a duck in a city

"if you only knew
all the reasons i have for leaving
and if you only knew
what i'll be doing there in the evenings"

you just stay safe in your little world
and I'll never bother you again
why should I, since you dropped me
and attacked with a grin?

would you have still kept it all inside?
would you have still said the things that drained away all my pride?
the things that eat at me every day with a pain and a choking regret? and i lay in squares and shambles in bed.
So say again what you had to say that took my life

if you only knew
all the reasons I have for leaving
and if you only knew
why today's the day i'm gone for good

and I'll be fine in my new world
but you can bother me anytime
it'll kill you to see the grin on my face
since you dropped me and realized your you’ve lost your grace

would you have still kept it all inside?
would you have still said the things that drained away all my pride?
the things that eat at me every day with a pain and a choking regret? and i lay in squares and shambles in bed.
so say it again, what you had to say that took my life

It's not like I'll be missed around here
When things like minimum wages and whispers of fear
are all that I've surrounded myself with a cheer
for all the times you kept me up at night
and all the things we said in your bed
and all the times we left in a fight
and all the reasons you had to say what you said that night
maybe you'll know in time...
what you said that changed my life